Just Fred

As is customary in the horse show world, horses are given extravagant names which have no bearing on what they're called. So the horse known in the barn as Gus, is actually Ambassador Z. Like a proper farm animal, my pony Fred had only one name. So when the snot-nosed horse girl asked after Fred’s “show name”, she became horrified that he didn’t have one, that he was just “Fred,” no more no less. In mockery of people like her, my family began concocting outlandish names to bestow on Fred or, as he's now called, “Golden Thunder on The March.”